Wednesday, June 6, 2012

It's all perspective.

     As I mentioned before, we decided it was time for Elle to stay with us during the day instead of going to preschool.  Today is day #3 in our new endeavor, and I've had to remind myself many times a day: "It only takes two weeks to make a habit"... "It only takes two weeks to make a habit"... "It only takes two weeks to make a habit"... 

     It's a fact.  It really does take only two weeks to make a habit.  I've clung to that thought many times in my life and it's never failed me - so today, I have at least some solace in knowing that soon this will be normal for us and won't seem like such a big deal.  Again, it proves to me that it's all perspective.  Nothing will change over the next couple of weeks.  It will just seem easier.  I'll be used to this and it won't seem so different.

     That's fairly easy for me, but how do I explain this to a three year old?  Does it take her only two weeks to make a habit or get used to a new normal?  Her big sister isn't at preschool anymore.  Her best friend doesn't share the playground with her these days.  Her security blanket is missing.  It's making my heart hurt.  Today, I dreaded bringing her to school as much as I think she did and it's making me question my plan once again.  And yes, the push-pop is a bribe.  And yes,  it worked.  There were no tears today as I left her with her teachers.  Thankyouverymuch.  Sometimes, you gotta do what you gotta do.  It's survival parenting and we've all done it at one point or another.

     It's humbling to realize after 14 years of being a mom to 5 children, I still have plenty left to learn.  While I'm an expert in so many areas, this is all new ground for me.  What words should I choose?  And why does she have to learn that change is hard sometimes?  At least, why does she have to learn it when she's still so little? And why can't she just stay home and play everyday?

     Life goes on and the new becomes old in every single way it can.  I used to feel that work was work and not child-friendly.  However, as my best friend pointed out, "What's the point of being your own boss if you can't take advantage of it, right?"  She's right and I know it. 

     So today is day 3 and it wasn't so bad.  I may not be able to see a good portion of my office carpeting and I may have been interrupted to share cookies, juice, and some artwork - but this will become my normal and in 2 weeks I'd miss it if it changed.

    Last but not least, Lars is thankfully oblivious to any of this.  He is used to having his own room, his own trucks, his own clothes, his own preschool classroom, his own little bubble in spite of growing up in the same household as the girls.  I'm sure he'll have his own changes sooner or later but for now, I'm thankful he's just hanging out enjoying his stuff.  

     It's all perspective, and perspective can change it all. 

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