Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Just write...

     I look at this picture and don't see my 4 year old little girl anymore. 
 Instead, I see

"I want to pick out my own outfit"
"I can pour my own milk Mommy"
"I think I want to wear a necklace"
and
"I'm not tired yet"
and
"Can I spend the night at Grandmas?"


 I'm happy she's healthy & growing up & kind & beautiful
and a million other wonderful things.

I really really am.

But I look at her younger sister... 
and see her trying to be "so big" too.  

Gone are the days of picking Dora t-shirts...
and 
here are the days of pretty roses instead. 


Gone are the tears of not wanting to sit still
and
here are the tears of not wanting to be done taking pictures.  


I feel like each day I lose some of their childhoods... 
having to work
and be gone
and I miss them.
Sometimes I'm home and too busy...
and ironically, it's then that I miss them too.

I'm here but gone a lot... 


And then - 
I see he's fallen asleep on the floor.
(Amidst the crumbs of course)
And I get to stop - and smile... 
and realize I have another chance
to stop and smile.

I'm not losing moments - 
I'm gaining memories. 


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